put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
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It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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