Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Randomize
