STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
