Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
