just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just forgot I was standing up.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize