My balls are so social today.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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