Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana

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(816): View more from Missouri

You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"

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(586): View more from Michigan

so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(904): View more from Florida

This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.

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(315): View more from New York

im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.

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(212): View more from New York

You tried paying your tab with the coaster

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later

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