Texts From Last Night

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  (909): View more from California

  if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids

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  (909): if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids http://tfl.nu/et14
  Replies (18) Good night (1720) Bad night (4035)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out

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  (989): you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out http://tfl.nu/f2m2
  Replies (24) Good night (1103) Bad night (5839)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.

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  (917): My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays. http://tfl.nu/9drw
  Replies (77) Good night (1203) Bad night (4394)
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  (916): View more from California

  We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.

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  (916): We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever. http://tfl.nu/dui8
  Replies (12) Good night (4156) Bad night (1391)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"

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  (214): a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate" http://tfl.nu/0wuw
  Replies (9) Good night (1229) Bad night (5566)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.

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  (201): The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card. http://tfl.nu/lm1u
  Replies (15) Good night (2843) Bad night (902)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.

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  (570): I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club. http://tfl.nu/5u2s
  Replies (13) Good night (1608) Bad night (1214)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.

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  (215): your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed. http://tfl.nu/08fq
  Replies (2) Good night (758) Bad night (376)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??

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  (610): So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night?? http://tfl.nu/qtcd
  Replies (2) Good night (1015) Bad night (434)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart

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  (316): Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart http://tfl.nu/0j6w
  Replies (2) Good night (766) Bad night (368)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.

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  (614): This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato. http://tfl.nu/wzg8
  Replies (4) Good night (470) Bad night (749)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless

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  (479): Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless http://tfl.nu/hz1n
  Replies (5) Good night (1141) Bad night (349)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation

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  (734): I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation http://tfl.nu/fh6w
  Replies (6) Good night (577) Bad night (493)
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  (845): View more from New York

  You jumped into so many bushes for no reason

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  (845): You jumped into so many bushes for no reason http://tfl.nu/2wkq
  Replies (2) Good night (492) Bad night (246)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Where else would I get life advice?

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  (704): Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right. (575): Where else would I get life advice? http://tfl.nu/mfwy
  Replies (0) Good night (523) Bad night (231)

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