i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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