You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
