a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
