The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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