Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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