I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
