I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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