Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
