he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
