it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
