Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Randomize
