I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
