The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
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To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
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These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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