It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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