I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
