Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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