i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize