i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize