I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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