You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize