i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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