Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
