he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
