i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
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Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
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Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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