didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize