Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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