You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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