You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You've changed since you got that strap on
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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