After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
