Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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