A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting married
To pizza
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize