i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
you never un-have a 4some
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
