He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
