will power is for people who don't want to get laid
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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