moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize