Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
