been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
