hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
