Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
