i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
