No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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