people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
