I just cut my nipple shaving
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
