she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
