I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
