He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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