You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
