Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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