So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
