You really coming over, don't trick.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
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