I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
