im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
