Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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